5 Ways to Support a Spouse with Mental Health Issues

Marriage is a beautiful covenant between a man and a woman. When two people marry, they vow to stay together in sickness and in health till death. But illness can certainly try marriage and bring it to its breaking point. This can be especially true for people who have a mental illness. Anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues have been on the rise since the onset of COVID-19.

“Comfort”, Courtesy of Priscilla Du Preez, Unsplash.com, CC0 License; Many people need the help of professionals for medication and therapy to help them get through and cope with everyday life struggles. Mental health struggles can be challenging both for the person struggling and for the spouse who must care for them.

For example, those suffering from depression may have difficulty getting out of bed, holding a job, or looking on the bright side of things. This lack of motivation can cause incredible frustration for spouses not struggling with these issues. They may experience financial difficulties and other problems as a result.

These issues are certainly not what a couple expects when they first get married and this may leave a spouse feeling helpless.

5 Ways to Support a Spouse with Mental Health Issues

Here are five ways to help a spouse with mental health issues:

Pray for them

The most important thing you can do is pray for them. While there are no promises that Jesus will heal every person of mental illness here on this earth, we can bring all our issues, including our mental health struggles, to God. In His sovereignty, God can help us see life from a new perspective. If someone is dealing with depression but they are not diagnosed as clinically depressed, a shift in perspective may be just what they need to lift their mood.

Additionally, people who struggle with anxiety notice a difference after reading the Word or spending prolonged periods with the Lord. After spending time in prayer, a person struggling with mental illness can have hope that God can turn their situation around and give them back their mental clarity in a more positive attitude and a feeling of peace that passes all understanding.

Give them space

Sometimes, a person with a mental illness doesn’t want someone asking them how they’re doing all the time. Some need space to process through their struggle. It is best to have a heart-to-heart conversation with this spouse to ask them precisely what they need.

If they want to be left alone, give them that space. Plan family outings and things without them for now, so they don’t have to feel pressured to attend events they won’t feel up to attending. Give them space not to feel well, and let them know you’ll be there for them when they need you.

Support them

In addition to space, some people with mental health struggles simply want someone to support them. Mental health, regardless of its rising rates in recent years, carries with it a stigma of embarrassment and shame. Some people still believe that mental health is “all in their head.”

This misunderstanding can make the person feel degraded or devalued simply because they have an issue that people don’t understand. Because studies on the brain are not widely available, it is still challenging to understand what causes and perpetuates a mental illness.

People who are struggling with mental illness want to know that someone is there for them. They may want someone to sit with them and talk with them. They want someone to ask them questions and listen with care and compassion.

They don’t want someone to advise or tell them what to do. Instead, they want someone who simply says, “I’m sorry to hear you’re going through this.” They want to know someone is there for them to help them in any way that they can. This area of support will be a great demonstration of your love for them and the tangible expression of Jesus in their lives.

People struggling with mental illness may feel like God is distant from them. They may pray and cry out to God but feel nothing. This struggle can be disheartening for someone who needs healing.

Your willingness to be there to lend a hand, pick up household responsibilities, and give them the space they need for their illness shows them the care and compassion that nearness to Christ can bring. If Jesus feels distant from a person with mental illness, your demonstration of grace and love can be the tangible example of Jesus they are looking for.

Serve them

Even the smallest act of service can be helpful to someone with mental illness. For example, an anxious person may have difficulty leaving home or running simple errands. Your willingness to assume household responsibilities such as running errands, paying bills, or taking their share of caring for the children can be a great act of servanthood to your spouse. This service is a great way to honor your vow to love, honor, and cherish in sickness and health.

People with mental illness do not want to be ill. However, they have little to no resources to help them. Regardless of how prescribed, some medications do not work. They may reduce the symptoms. But they may not resolve them altogether. A person who’s struggling with depression may still be struggling to get out of bed, go to work, do their job, and come home and do the everyday responsibilities.

Your willingness to serve them without being asked and with little appreciation can be a great act of service, both to your spouse and to the Lord. You can rest assured that the Lord is glorified and pleased when He sees His children serving one another with no strings attached.

Your spouse dealing with mental illness may not need grandiose acts of service. They may not want to have dinner served to them, or have you assume their household responsibilities. A simple holding of their hand, tissue passing, or listening ear may be all they need to show them that you care. Care and compassion during mental illness can go a long way in showing love and service to your spouse.

Encourage them

Even when times get difficult, encouraging words can go a long way in expressing love and support to your spouse. A person with mental illness doesn’t need you to be smiling and hugging them all the time. But they want to hear encouraging phrases like “Things will get better,” “It won’t always be like this,” or even a simple “I’m praying for you.” It can be difficult to know what to say to encourage the spouse you love.

Simply speaking from the heart may be all that is needed to show your spouse your care and compassion for them. Most importantly, treat your spouse as you would want to be treated. If you want to hear an encouraging word, give one.

A handwritten note telling them you love and pray for them may be a great boost. Pick up the slack if you find them struggling. Trade your complaining for encouragement and let them know you’re willing to do whatever it takes to help them.

Mental illness can place a strain on a marriage. However, it doesn’t have to be that way. Spouses who want to demonstrate care and concern must speak their spouse’s love language and let them know they are loved.

The best thing a spouse can do to show their spouse they care is show empathy. While the spouse may not understand what the other spouse is going through, knowing someone is there to love and support them is all they may need to get through this rough patch in their marriage.

Next Steps

It can be helpful to you to speak with a third party about how you can support your spouse through mental illness. If you would like to meet with a therapist or counselor to learn more, contact our office today.