Eyes Wide Open
Ben Franklin advised those considering entering into matrimony, “Keep your eyes wide open before marriage and half-shut afterwards.” This may sound silly when you’re intoxicated with the elixir of infatuation. Why would you need to look for flaws in your partner? After all, they’re perfect.
And, when you’ve spent so long looking for love, the idea of losing it can frighten you away from considering heavy issues such as “compatibility.” Difficult truths from the real world have no place in your romantic fantasy. And there’s nothing wrong with approaching love with an optimistic vision. That is the Biblical pattern – beginning with an ideal and working toward it.
But once you step down from that altar, it’s permanent. So you might as well take a minute to consider where you both stand before you make that eternal commitment.
Relationships Require Work
A Christian marriage counselor can help you work toward your vision. No, discussing issues such as how you’d like to educate your children and who will manage the finances might not be as fun as choosing which restaurant to hang out at, but these discussions are vital to the health of your relationship. As said before, marriage is permanent. You need to make sure that you start out creating a complementary foundation to carry you through the next 50 years.
Do you spur one another on to self-improvement? Or do you exacerbate each other’s vices?
A skilled counselor can help you confront the issues most couples tiptoe around for fear of causing a fuss. They can also help you develop communication skills that will help you avoid a blow-up when conflicts arise in the future. Or escape the cycle of those already happening. Don’t kid yourself; every loving couple has disagreements. But, with the help of a counselor, you can learn to turn these differences into opportunities to understand each other and work together better. They can help you see how God is for you and for your marriage– that He is with you, and is purposeful in bringing your joy and freedom to fulfillment.
Images cc: freedigitalphotos.net – “Couple Silhouette On The Beach At Sunset” by pat138241