6 Things a Good Friend Can Do to Help Someone With Extreme Anxiety

Sometimes loving someone means learning how to hold strong around them when their world starts shaking. When your loved one experiences any kind of anxiety, you’ve probably witnessed how badly it robs them, and sometimes you, of peace.

There’s that friend of yours who’s always wound so tight, never truly at ease. The friend who second-guesses every text they send. The one who worries what others think of them or backs out of plans last minute.

While you’re devoted to your friend and wish to assist them, there are moments you struggle to discern if you’re improving their situation or worsening it. On top of that, you’ve experienced how exhausting anxiety can be, not just for your loved one, but for everyone around them.

Extreme anxiety has a way of complicating relationships, although it doesn’t have to.

Here are six ways you can lovingly walk alongside your friend who struggles with extreme anxiety without shouldering the burden yourself.

Listen First Without Trying To “Fix It”

The thing about anxiety is most advice just sounds like white noise to them. You might believe you’re being supportive with comments such as “take a deep breath” or “try not to worry,” yet these usually have no effect. What your friend truly needs is for you to just listen.

Sometimes they don’t need advice or a solution. They just need to vent. Just be there to hear them out; no need to chime in with your own thoughts. You don’t need to be an expert with your words. Usually, a simple “I get it” or “that sounds rough” goes a long way.

It’s not about having a canned response. Being present in this way helps your friend feel secure enough to share their honest situation.

Be Predictable and Pay Attention to the Small Things

Uncertainty fuels anxiety. For your loved one, a sudden change of plans or a cancellation can set off a cascade of anxious imaginings. They automatically assume the worst.

While you don’t need to walk on eggshells around your friend, try to maintain a level of consistency. If you’re meeting up with them, send a text confirming the time. Or if you’re running late, send a quick text to let them know you’re on the way.

These small things help your loved one know, “Hey, you’re still thought of.” It may sound silly, but for someone who constantly fears the worse, it can be very comforting.

Don’t Take Things Personally

One thing about extreme anxiety is they will say things that may come off as blunt or insensitive. It’s not you. It’s the battle raging inside them.

When your friend reacts a certain way or sounds short with you, try not to take it personally. Try to see it not as them rejecting you, but as them prioritizing their own well-being.

It’s okay to establish your own boundaries; just avoid getting drawn into their reactive mood. Instead, stand strong in your patience with them like a strong tree stands strong in the wind.

Offer Them Calm Instead of Pressure

When your loved one starts spiraling, the wrong thing to say is “calm down.” This will only cause them to retreat further into their anxiety. Instead, offer them calm.

“Do you want to go for a walk?” or “want to sit on the porch for a bit?”

Sometimes, simple things help reset your friend’s nervous system. Plus, your calm presence lets them know, “I may not be able to take away your anxiety, but you’re safe with me.”

Let Them Know It’s Okay to Say No

Social anxiety can make even small interactions feel like an uphill battle. If your loved one cancels plans or needs to leave early, don’t guilt them into changing their mind.

Say something like, “No problem at all. Next time.” This may help your loved one open up around you more.

People with extreme anxiety often feel like a burden. When you offer them unwavering love and acceptance, you’re creating a safe haven for them.

Propose They Explore Professional Help Without Pressure

Keep in mind that you’re not expected to fill your friend’s therapist role, and that’s perfectly fine.

What you can do is remind them there is help available. Perhaps try phrasing it as, “It sounds like you need someone who can truly help you feel more at ease.” Or, “What about exploring options with Christian Counseling?”

Counseling can provide your loved one with skills that you can’t. You can certainly nudge them towards seeking assistance.

Nobody wants to feel anxious. We all want to feel peace. Yet life doesn’t always hand us peace on a silver platter.

If you or someone you love is struggling with anxiety, there is hope. Christian Counseling can help you find peace in the middle of the storm. Visit our directory to find a Christian Counselor in your area or call one of the numbers on your screen.