Finding Healing After A Traumatic Birthing Experience

In one of His interactions with His disciples, Jesus offered support to the disciples through the impending crisis of His death at the hands of the Roman authorities. He gave them this analogy for what they would experience:

Truly, truly, I say to you, you will weep and lament, but the world will rejoice. You will be sorrowful, but your sorrow will turn into joy. When a woman is giving birth, she has sorrow because her hour has come, but when she has delivered the baby, she no longer remembers the anguish, for joy that a human being has been born into the world. So also, you have sorrow now, but I will see you again, and your hearts will rejoice, and no one will take your joy from you. – John 16:20-22, ESV

Jesus was pointing out what mothers typically experience when it comes to childbirth – there is sorrow, pain, and deep anguish. This is usually then followed by joy because the miracle of birth and the new human being who is welcomed. While this experience is indeed typical for many mothers, it’s also true that the experience of childbirth can be quite traumatic for several reasons.

Traumatic Childbirth Experiences

The experience of childbirth can be a joyful and beautiful time, but it can also be a time of deep anguish too. Expectations is one of the reasons why many women struggle to process the trauma of childbirth. When these expectations don’t materialize or feel out of sync with one’s actual experiences, that can result in feelings of guilt, self-blame, or self-doubt.

Childbirth can be traumatic. One way to understand trauma is to define it as when a person experiences stressful, frightening, or distressing events that are out of one’s control or difficult for them to cope with. Some traumatic childbirth experiences include:

• Having to undergo an unplanned caesarean section due to complications
• Going through a difficult labor that might be accompanied by a long and painful delivery
• A health emergency arising as a result of the birth process (for mom or baby)
• Experiencing some other shocking or unexpected things during birth, such as an unexpected diagnosis
• Feeling unsupported, uncared for, afraid or helpless during the childbirth process

These experiences can result in what is known as postnatal post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), which is a type of anxiety disorder.

The Challenges that a Traumatic Childbirth Brings

When a person has PTSD, they may relive the experience in which they felt out of control, helpless, or in danger. This can result in vivid flashbacks of the event, as well as nightmares, intrusive thoughts, and intense distress at symbols or reminders of the trauma. One might feel unsafe and find it hard to trust others. This can make it difficult to look after your child, especially if the symptoms are severe.

A traumatic childbirth can lead to many complications after the birth, which can negatively affect your relationship with your baby. Women who have experienced trauma during childbirth may feel helplessness, fear, or shock about their experience and suffer from flashbacks, recurrent thoughts, overwhelming memories, and nightmares about the birth.

Additionally, it’s not uncommon for them to feel distressed or anxious when they are exposed to things which remind them of the traumatic event. This may lead them to trying to avoid anything that reminds them of the trauma, which can include talking about it, seeing birth depicted on a TV show, or being in a hospital.

When a woman who’s experienced a traumatic childbirth has flashbacks or recurring thoughts, the memories feel less like memories and more like it’s actually happening, and they are still in imminent danger. This in turn triggers physical reactions such as panic attacks. These experiences can affect a woman’s relationship with herself, and also with the people around her.

Addressing a Traumatic Childbirth Experience

Traumatic childbirth experiences can be addressed and overcome. Likely the main obstacle for many women is that they may feel uncomfortable speaking openly about what they have undergone for fear of being seen as a failure as a mother, or for coming across as being ungrateful for their new child. However, it’s important to talk about these experiences with a mental health professional, especially if they are affecting your ability to care for yourself and your baby.

Using talk therapy techniques such as cognitive behavioral therapy or eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR), you can begin to process your experiences so that you can better cope with what’s happened. Additionally, medications may be helpful to address symptoms associated with PTSD and depression, which often go hand in hand.

Help is a Phone Call Away

If you or a loved one have undergone a traumatic childbirth experience, it’s important to seek out help and support to begin the journey toward healing and wholeness. A counselor can guide you in therapies meant to repair that which was traumatized. Reach out to our offices today so that we can connect you with a skilled therapist who is ready to help you on your journey.