Understanding Avoidance Behavior

Some people have behaviors that cause them to avoid or disengage from certain situations or hard feelings. These actions are used to escape unwanted situations or distractions that keep them from feeling certain emotions. People with these behaviors have been known to avoid new jobs, relationships, or even family gatherings. To these people, avoidance behavior is a form of self-protection.

Avoidance is more than just an uncomfortable feeling. It is a form of feeling like the person is in control, even though there may be no true control. The goal of avoidance behavior is to escape difficult thoughts and manage stress without acknowledging what causes the stress.

Causes Of Avoidance Behavior

The factors and causes of avoidance behavior are thought to involve genetics, environmental, and social factors, as well as some underlying mental health issues. There are no set identifiers of what causes this behavior issue.

The factors that can be associated with avoidance behavior are:

• Criticism.
• Lack of affection.
• Rejection.
• Emotional abuse.
• Ridicule.

The mental health issues that can be related to avoidance behavior are:

• Depression.
• Substance abuse.
• Social anxiety disorder.
• Dependent personality disorder.
• Agoraphobia (the fear of being unable to escape an embarrassing event).

What does avoidance behavior look like?

Here is a list of the common traits or behavior patterns for those who struggle with avoidance behavior:

• Avoiding situations that cause extreme anxiety.
• Leaving situations that produce uneasy feelings.
• Avoiding specific people.
• Rationalizing anxiety.
• Distracting self from thoughts or feelings.
• Avoid certain places that result in certain emotions.
• Avoid activities that involve something that causes anxiety.
• Engaged in compulsive behavior.
• Suppressing thoughts.
• Eating to reduce feeling the emotions.
• Use of alcohol.
• Rationalizing the anxiety by trying to find reasons why it is irrational.
• Self-harm to remove the uncomfortable feelings of anxiety.
• Suppressing emotions.
• Continuous thoughts about a problem whether it is past or present.

This is not a complete list of behavior patterns that people with avoidance behaviors will exhibit. These are the most common that could appear to be natural behaviors for them.

Harmful Effects

While it may seem like avoidance is the best thing when it comes to stress or situations that can cause anxiety, it can be harmful. These behaviors are considered unhealthy because they don’t help the person contend with the situation that is causing the stress or anxiety. Avoidance often creates more anxiety and rarely solves the problem. Avoidance behavior can be frustrating to others and may cause relationship conflicts.

When a situation is not managed or coped with it can create a bigger problem. Avoiding the situation can cause a person to fail to thrive. Life can become stagnant and depressing, which can bring other issues of mental and physical health into the struggle. This can lead to a decrease in self-esteem.

The misleading coping mechanisms of avoidance behavior can reinforce anxiety and lead to disregarding responsibilities. Avoidance behavior does not address the underlying issues of the problem so there is no healing that takes place. This can create a hard-to-break cycle that disrupts everyday living.

Types

Avoidance is simply when a person is trying to protect themselves from something they feel is threatening. This can be different for each person since it is based on personal perception of how they may be defining danger.

Avoidance behavior can have effects on many areas of life. There are a few general categories that encompass the behavior of avoidance.

Somatic: Somatic avoidance is when the person chooses to avoid situations that may cause a physical response in their body. They limit any activity that will cause them to feel anxious or uncomfortable. Even though the situation may not be dangerous, the feelings that it brings cause somatic responses such as rapid heart rate, butterflies in the stomach, or lightheadedness.

Cognitive: A person who uses cognitive avoidance will tend to avoid certain thoughts. This can be done through disassociation or distraction through daydreams. There are also times that repetitive phrases, prayers, or affirmations can serve to distract the person from thinking about a situation. During this type of avoidance, the person may feel as if their mind is full of irrational or unhelpful thoughts.

Situational: This category of avoidance behavior focuses on avoiding specific situations, people, or places. Any place or event that can cause a person to feel anxious is avoided so that they do not have to engage in feeling uncomfortable. This is one of the most common types of avoidance. This is a common symptom of PTSD. This type of avoidance can lead to loneliness and isolation.

Protective: Those who make it a habit to engage only in behaviors that are thought to be safe or that keep an environment safe are experiencing protective avoidance. These can be linked to obsessive-compulsive disorder.

Substitution: This type of avoidance can be exhibited by replacing one feeling with another or using something as a crutch to help a person cope with the emotional pain.

Overcoming Avoidance Behavior

Overcoming anything begins with acknowledging that there is an issue. This is the same for avoidance behaviors. If a person can identify that they have an issue with avoiding situations, people, or places then there is a way to cultivate coping skills that will help in overcoming avoidance behaviors.

Avoidance behavior has a cycle that will repeat when the underlying issue is not treated. This cycle starts with a feeling of anxiousness. The cycle then moves into the avoidance part of the cycle to reduce the uncomfortable feelings that result from the situation. This gives temporary relief before going right back to the initial feelings of anxiousness.

Overcoming this behavior begins with learning to say yes to the situation regardless of the difficulty. When this is done, a person can cultivate a process for coping with the emotions and physical feelings that come with the situation. This is where true healing begins.

Sometimes it helps to think about past situations and what the outcome was when it was avoided. This will create the thought process that the situation can be overcome again but in a healthier way. These past bad experiences can help the challenges and capabilities that will be part of the healing process.

Some people choose to expose themselves to the fear. This can be helpful if done in a gradual and manageable way. Learning to work through the less fearful situations first can create a thought process to manage reactions to the more fearful situations encountered.

Journaling can be a great way to release negative feelings and see how the response to those feelings and thoughts can be changed. Writing is a helpful way of processing situations and identifying how healing can take place.

Stress management is one of the most important tools a person can use to overcome avoidance behavior. Identifying the stressor and its cause can begin the process of healing the underlying issue. Coping skills are part of the stress management tool. When a person is faced with an uncomfortable situation understanding how to get past the moment can create a new pattern of thinking, resolving the need to avoid future situations.

One final avenue for overcoming avoidance behavior is to connect with a local Christian counselor. A Christian counselor can help identify the issues, create a faith-based plan, and help with focusing on healing rather than avoiding it.

Next Steps

Several people struggle with avoidance behaviors. Know that you are not alone and there is help. Acknowledging that there is an issue is the first step to healing. Once you have decided that you may struggle with avoidance behavior, the next step is to contact your local Christian counseling service.

The right strategies and faith-based plans can cultivate coping skills to help overcome avoidance behavior. You are not alone in the anxiety of facing uncomfortable situations. Call our office today to schedule your initial appointment with one of the counselors at our location and get the help you need.

Cast your burden upon the LORD and He will sustain you; He will never allow the righteous to be shaken. – Psalm 55:22, NASB